I went for my monthly doctor’s check-up today to see how little one and I were doing, and like every other visit, this time around the doctor was pleased to let me know that everything looks wonderful.
As you’ll remember, last time I saw the doctor I had to do a little terrible test to check for gestational diabetes – I found out today that although I felt like I was going to die at the time, my body is handling sugars just fine and I passed with flying colours.
No gestational diabetes for this mama-to-be! I had been especially worried I’d flunk, given that my mother had the condition while pregnant with me.
Doc also said that my ever-growing belly (see photo at left) was also perfectly on track for a happy and healthy little one, and babe’s heartbeat was just as strong as his/her kicks and jabs. All very good things. And, I managed to keep my weight gain to just 4 pounds this past month – a miracle, after last month’s 9-pound shock.
But, I still find myself not able to fully relax and enjoy this seemingly worry-free pregnancy.
I’m sure that all mamas-to-be who’ve experienced a loss in the past feel this way – that they can never fully relax or believe that everything is OK with this pregnancy until the baby arrives in their arms safe and sound.
I get frustrated with myself that I can’t ‘let it go’, as much as I try to tell myself that this time is different and things happen for a reason (yadda yadda)… I just keep waiting for something to happen. Like life wouldn’t just hand me something so wonderful as making my lifelong dream of being a mother come true. Things can’t really be normal, can they?
Parental anxiety can drive you mental, even before your little one arrives.
Aside from par-for-the-course tiredness and achy feet and low back, it’s been pretty smooth sailing this time around. Perhaps this is karma’s apology for giving us the shitty end of the stick last time around.
On a more positive note: after my vent last week with my frustration that husband had still not felt little one kick, I am thrilled to say that he’s not only felt little one Riverdancing away, he’s also seen my belly jump and felt the nearly constant acrobatic flips and turns going on in my belly. He seems more excited since it happened as well, which makes me one happy wife.
We’ve also started some minor renos to our bedroom to accommodate baby’s crib, which is making this whole experience seem even more real by the day. Now we just have to agree on what crib to get!
I cannot wait. Counting down to our due date!
Mamas: Did you constantly worry things could go wrong while expecting? How’d you overcome any anxieties you felt?