Thoughts on the question of gender

Gender Reveal party cupcakesHaving a baby is a very exciting thing, and one that many people take an interest in. As soon as the cat’s out of the bag that you’re expecting, a game of (well-meaning) 50 questions begins.

Everyone’s got their opinions on what you should be doing, and everyone is curious about the ins-and-outs of your bundle of joy.

‘When are you due?’ is probably the most-asked question, followed closely by ‘Are you having a boy or a girl?’

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve answered these two questions over the last few months, but I can tell you that I get extremely irked every time someone reacts with disappointment to my answer about the sex of our unborn baby.

Hubs and I made a conscious decision not to find out the sex of our little one, for several reasons. While neither of us has anything against parents who choose to prepare ahead of time by finding out if their new addition is a boy or a girl, it wasn’t (much, anyways) of a discussion for us.

The problem I have, is when people act all disappointed that we’ve decided to go for the surprise factor – whether it be with a follow-up ‘oh’ or ‘why wouldn’t you find out?’ – or the dreaded ‘I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to know’…


Because that was the choice we as a couple, as this child’s parents, made.

Because either way, we’re having a baby – and knowing our child’s gender ahead of time isn’t going to change how we love and parent that child.

Because we don’t care if we have a boy or a girl.

Because sometimes, the surprise is worth the wait.

Because when you have kids of your own, you can decide if you want to find out their sex – and I won’t judge you if you want to know, and I hope others are as kind.

Mamas: Did you decide to find out your child’s gender before they were born? What made you decide that way, and how did you handle questions from people wanting to know?

Photo via: kristin_a (Meringue Bake Shop),

2 thoughts on “Thoughts on the question of gender

  1. I had no idea and I really didn’t care,as long as the baby was healthy, and had 10 fingers and toes, because it was our first it didn’t matter. the strange part though I had tons of dreams my baby was a boy, so yes I was surprised when they said it was a girl!!

    • exactly! healthy is all we could ask for! I often wonder if mother’s intuition has something to it. I’ve also been dreaming baby is a boy, but hubs says in his gut he feels it’s a girl. we shall see soon enough! 🙂

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