I’m not going to go ahead here and speak for all moms with this list, but in candid convos with my mommy friends there seems to be some recurring themes concerning gifts we’d truly appreciate, Mother’s Day or otherwise.

Partners, take note.

Uninterrupted sexy times

Wouldn’t it be nice to have some intimate time with your partner (or even yourself) without worrying about being interrupted for a glass of water, snack or other such triviality? Mama just wants an unhurried orgasm!

No touching

Conversely, and especially for those with younger kidlets, having a 24-hour period where nobody touches you would be heaven. Imagine: no pinches, scratches, boogie wipes, face licks, mystery wipe stains on your clothes for ONE WHOLE DAY!

Sleeping in

We’re not just talking 15 minutes here, folks. Leave us alone (preferably after delivering that morning O) in the bedroom until lunch time. Mama just wants to sleeeep!

Use the bathroom with the door closed

I can’t even tell you how exciting it would be to go to the bathroom without having a little cheerleader with their face between my knees telling me “good job mama” for going pee on the potty. And to be able to shave our legs without rushing – would be dee-light-fuuul.

Eating a hot meal with two hands

I’m trying to remember the last meal I ate with my son where I got through the entire thing without it getting cold and I’m drawing a blank. Partners, for today only YOU can deal with the myriad meal requests of the baby while mama gets to enjoy her favourite food in all its unreheated glory.

Get shitfaced

While definitely not always feasible, sometimes mom just wants to let loose a little bit and not have to worry about her responsibilities. Give her this. Let her enjoy one or two (or three or four) of her favourite drinks without guilt and without worrying about the consequences.

Moms: Anything I missed? What real talk gift would you like to receive this Mother’s Day? Tell me in the comments below.