I have a bit of a confession, and I know that I’m not alone in this.

Sometimes, when I sneeze (or cough, or laugh, or jump, or squat, or run, or breathe) I dribble a bit of pee. I also have to run to the bathroom 50 BAZILLION times a day, and sometimes there’s not even anything that comes out.

THIS IS NOT NORMAL.

Which is why I decided to do something about it (holla for prioritizing that self-care!) and recently went for my first pelvic floor physiotherapy session at West End Mamas. I’ll have a more thorough review on the clinic and my experience coming soon, but I wanted to share some thoughts that run through your mind when you’re in the midst of a session.

1. What a nice space they have here. The beautiful artwork, the complimentary herbal teas. Anything to keep you from focusing on what’s about to happen to your business.
2. This is going to be great. I know that this isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world, but won’t it be nice to not pee my pants all the time?
3. Should I run? Walking back to the treatment room you realize that you could make a break for it now and be no worse off, but decide to stick it out.
4. Pfft. I’m totally cool with this. The therapist is talking to you about your history and procedure, and you’re acting like it’s totally no big deal. You’re SO cool with all of this. You’re a big fat liar.
5. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Now’s the time to drop those pants and get on the table. It’s similar to a massage, only this time you leave everything on except your underpants.
6. I hope she cut her nails. Nothing like having flashbacks to your heavily bejewelled O.B.’s fist.
7. Heh. That’s not so bad. Uncomfortable? Sure, a bit. As bad as giving birth? Not even close.
8. You want me to what? Now’s the time to show off your Kegel skills.
9. Wait. Why do I feel that there? Apparently referral pain applies to the muscles of your pelvic floor too, so you might feel sensations down your leg, in your hips, and even in your glutes.
10. How does someone get into this line of work? Being a pelvic floor physio involves physiotherapist training and certification, and then further specialized training in the female anatomy.
11. WHOA. I could totally feel that muscle release. Apparently I have an extremely tight pelvic floor. It was so bizarre to feel those muscles release as the treatment progressed. Just like a post-workout stretch.
12. I wonder what she’s thinking about. Is she freaking out like me?!
13. OHMYGODISITOVERYET. I’ve never even spent this much time with myself.
14. What do you mean there’s more? That was just the first side, girl. 1-2-3-4-5-6-switch!
15. OHMYGODIDIDIT. Oh yeah, I rock. I rock! Gonna reward myself with a nice latte after that experience. Maybe some diamonds.
16. I can’t wait to tell my partner about this. My husband is going to lose.his.damn.mind.
17. When’s my next appointment? Honestly, it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting, and I can’t wait to complete my treatment program and have relief of my symptoms. It will be so nice to be able to engage in normal daily activities without having to worry about my bladder!