Well, a few days after getting the news that the program has been cancelled, I’m still doing what I can, but I am struggling mentally and emotionally. I haven’t been able to sleep due to stress and anxiety over the situation. I know that I can only do what I can do, and I will keep telling myself that, but it’s hard for the heart to catch up with the mind right now.

Anyways, I weighed in at home this morning and was down 6 pounds — to 222.2. That’s 43.5 pounds lost overall, and more than my 15% target. Closing in on that 20% goal now.

I’ve been feeling under the weather this week as well. Am like 99.9% sure it’s not COVID-19, but of course my medical anxiety makes me think every twinge or sniffle means I am dying. Pretty sure it’s just a head cold as all my symptoms are sinus-related, but still nervous. I don’t know what to do about that… I really don’t want to start another med during this time when I can’t be monitored as well (but I did get a psychiatrist appointment — for AUGUST. woo!) but I’m not sure what else I should be doing now if my mental health is this bad. Meditating isn’t really helping either.

That’s it. I don’t have much in me to write anything further right now. Will check in again next week. Stay safe, friends.